"It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn your statutes." Psalm 119:71

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Still Awake

12:08 a.m.
Guess that makes this "breast cancer day 7."
Got a book written by a breast cancer survivor in the mail today.
Already finished it.
Beginning was empowering. Middle was heart-breaking and scary. By the end I was numb.
Bargaining with God. What can I trade? How 'bout financial problems again? Maybe you could take back the cancer and in exchange Terry could lose his job? No. Don't want to start bargaining. I could lose out that way. What if it weren't me? What if it were the kids? Ok, I'll stick with it.

Terry is so sick. Poor Terry. He's been doing 75% (at least) of all the kid stuff while I try to regain...I don't know...what am I trying to regain? ...Normalcy? ...Peace? .Anyway, he's doing all the early mornings and letting me sleep in. But he's pretty sick. What timing, huh?

Going to bed now. Claiming the scriptures-- my "joy will come in the morning," right? Tonight I need my Jehovah-Rapha. My God the healer.

Today's score (although it's still early)

Here's hoping "breast cancer day 7" ends better than it began...

1 comment:

  1. Wish I had profound words to say, or even something eloquent like Ashley :), but we know that saying we'll pray for each other means a whole heck of a lot more than pretty words. So know that's what I'm doing.


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