"It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn your statutes." Psalm 119:71

Monday, May 31, 2010

Men are Visual – posted by Terry

Disclaimer: I have not done any scientific research nor have sources to site for my statements!

For the most part, Men are visual and Women are emotional when it comes to defining the attractiveness of the opposite sex.

What if a woman and man were shown an “average” person of the opposite sex and their assessment was that they were average based solely on appearance. Now what if we told them that the “average” person had the qualities they wanted in a partner prior to seeing them.

I would think that most men would probably have the same assessment that they were an “average” person, while women would be more likely to assess their person as “above average”.

So if we assume that a man found his wife visually attractive when they dated and then married, is it naïve to say he thinks his wife is the most attractive person in the world? Why not? Maybe she doesn’t win the world vote, but that doesn’t matter, it’s what he thinks.

By our sinful nature, lust is a big problem, especially with a man. Since we are so visual and in today’s culture of Movies, Tv, Internet, and Magazines we are shown women wearing less and less and possibly nothing. Even in movies we weren’t expecting to see it like in “Up in the Air” that I saw last night. The actress was shown completely nude from behind and by profile. It wasn’t necessary for the plot of the movie.

So how does a sinful man see these images and 1. resist lust and 2. resist finding his wife less attractive as she ages and her body changes from when they first met.

Just like any sin, there is only one solution. Give it to God. 4 simple words. I only wish the action of those 4 words was as simple. This is not a 1 time action. If it was, giving up sin would be easy. But we usually have to struggle with our sins because it’s going against our desire. It’s easy to give up something you don’t care about. I can say that I will give up drinking coffee, because I hate coffee and never drink it anyway. Now ask me to give up Dr. Pepper. Now we have a fight on our hands. It’s the same for sin. If the sin isn’t a problem for you it’s easy to not give in to that sin. But take a sin that may be almost second nature or that you maybe even enjoy doing. Now just don’t do it. A little bit harder. Only God can help you through this process.

I recently read somewhere, right before Sarah's diagnosis, from a man who said he prayed daily that God would make his wife the most beautiful woman in his eyes. Such a simple prayer, but how life changing. From that day on, I began praying that prayer

It’s amazing how quickly I began to see the effects that this prayer had on my life. I began to feel convicted for seeing images of women I saw just like last night.

Sarah’s changed since we first met. She’s 10 years older and has had 2 children. Now her body is taking on even more changes due to this cancer (surgeries and chemotherapy). I am sure on a personal level for Sarah, that all of these changes make her feel less attractive, but I can say with 100% certainty that through everything, she IS the most beautiful women in the world to me.


  1. Wow Terry that's awesome! Great words. And I am so happy you and Sarah have each other. Y'all have a marriage I look up to in a lot of ways!

  2. I LOVE to see how God is working in both of you! This post brought tears to my eyes. I love it Terry. I pray that you continue that prayer. Sarah is so lucky to have YOU for a husband!
    Only do I pray that other men could ask for the same thing! How God could improve their marriages!


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